Distance
by Kailey Hamilton
Summary: "They didn't train until that late, did they? They possibly couldn't. It was Christmas eve. Was it naive of Sora to believe Yamato could call?" Written to celebrate the Sorato anniversary. Oneshot.


_Notes: Happy Sorato day! This was written for the SoratoSeason activity on Tumblr. (Prompt: canon, 2007, first year apart.) I am so happy I could finally write something decent for these two. A million thanks to Tumblr users fuzzleyan-scratchpad and demonoflight for their invaluable help with factual information. Do message me if you spot inaccuracies._

* * *

 **Distance**

Muffled laughter came from inside, but the night was cold and Sora's heart was heavy. She'd stepped outside because she needed some air, but not even the chilling air seeping through her skin could clear her head.

 _I shouldn't be so selfish. I should be happy._

She shook her head. No, she was happy. It had surprised her, that's all. She hadn't expected to see Ken and Miyako acting with such ease around each other, holding hands, forgetting themselves a little. No, it's not that she was unhappy, but their glowing faces made her own ache resurface. That void she'd been trying to ignore was all the more obvious.

 _It doesn't have anything to do with them. I shouldn't be thinking this._

Sora couldn't help it. Every little thing they did was reminiscent of every little thing Yamato would do or say to her. And it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to them. It wasn't fair to her - and even less so to Yamato.

 _Who knows what they're making him do right now._

Nothing had prepared Sora for this. In five years of relationship, this was the longest they'd been apart. By far. Before Yamato enlisted, the most she'd had to miss him was three weeks as he visited his relatives in Paris… but it had been half a year now. And in that period, she'd heard his voice just enough to keep her waiting.

Shouldn't he call, anyway? She had no way of reaching him. He kept in touch as often as he could and now… well, they didn't train until that late, did they? They possibly couldn't. It was Christmas eve. Was it naive of her to believe he could call? Or maybe… He will be coming home in five days to celebrate the New Year, so maybe they thought that a call wasn't necessary…

She was itching to call and leave him a message. Or write an e-mail. Anything. She did often, even if he didn't get to see it. Just a "Good morning, have a nice day." Just an "I miss you." But no. It was just logical he should call, if possible, but then again… well, she loved Yamato. She really did. But Yamato didn't always make sense.

 _He may be sulking in a corner somewhere… or maybe not. He doesn't have time for that. I'm the one feeling sorry for myself… now I should stop it. Now. Stop it._ Sora shook her head, resolving that she should go back inside enjoy this time with her friends.

But that's when her phone went off.

Her heart thundering, she pressed the answer button and rushed to held the device to her ear. She didn't even look at the screen.

"Yamato."

"Sora."

There he was, his rough, soothing voice taking every ounce of her doubts, of her attention. There she had her own little island of normalcy after so many months of missing him. She could pretend for a minute that her worries were gone.

"Free to talk?"

He huffed. "I have a few minutes before curfew. I wanted to call earlier, but I figured you'd be at the Christmas party and then I thought… well. It's our anniversary." She resisted the urge to laugh. So he had been relatively free to sulk, after all. "Where are you? There's a lot of noise."

"It's the wind." She turned away, and shielded the microphone with her hand. "Is it too bad?"

"I can hear you alright. Are you outside?"

"I'm at Taichi's, at the balcony. He's hosting this year. Well, Hikari-chan is hosting, technically. She wanted to get all of us together."

"Even the little ones?"

Calling the younger members of the group _the little ones_ seemed wrong. Even Iori, the youngest, carried himself with a certain air, of having seen the end of the world and surviving to tell the story. Even Miyako, bright, cheerful, innocent Miyako, seemed to have grown a lifetime in the span of a year.

Times had surely changed. In the deepest corner of her beating heart, there was a little voice that whispered, _this isn't good, this is wrong_. But how was it wrong to grow up? How was it wrong for Yamato to chase his dream?

"Everyone is here," she said. " Everyone but Mimi, who is in the States, and you." She couldn't keep herself from adding, "I miss you."

"I miss you too, Sora. Are you having a good time? How is everyone?"

She wanted to say yes. She was with all her friends, for the first time in months. She had a much-needed break coming, and Yamato was coming home soon, for the very first time. No. Yamato's absence shouldn't bother her _that_ much.

"I'm doing just fine," she assured him. "How was your day?"

There was a short pause, and a sigh, before an answer came.

"Like every other day… except we had chicken for dinner. That was great. I would've forgotten it was Christmas Eve if they hadn't-"

"You _forgot_! Is that why you didn't call earlier?"

Another, much longer silence.

"Maybe."

Through the glass, Sora could see Koushirou laughing from one of Taichi's stories. Sora found herself laughing as well.

"It's not funny."

"Here I was, thinking you were half-frozen in a ditch somewhere, and you _forgot_."

"Sora, please-"

"It's okay, it really is." And to her surprise, it truly was. "You called, didn't you? I should've tried to get in touch with you sooner, too."

"How? You know that's not possible. I do not doubt you think about me as much as I think about you."

"Getting romantic now?" She pretended to mock him, but she couldn't keep a blush from creeping up her face.

"Oh, hush." He didn't sound angry. If anything, his voice was burnt out. "I can't wait to be there with you."

There she felt it, the distance. It was threatening, once again, to rip her heart out from her body. Her heart was miles away, under that same starry sky, searching blindly for his presence. Just looking at the moon made him feel closer - but the chilly night, the wind rattling her hair, only intensified the need of his warmth beside her.

 _Only five days._

"Sora, I better go." Yamato spoke in a hurried whisper, forcing unspoken words to remain in her throat. "Say hello to my brother and Taichi and… well, everyone."

"Curfew?"

"I think I overdid my time. I really must-"

"Yamato!"

"I needed to talk to you."

"I wanted to hear your voice as well, Yamato, but I don't want you to get in trouble." She tried not to sound as concerned as she was. "We're seeing each other soon, aren't we? Just go back."

"I will, don't worry." He laughed softly, and suddenly the world was in its right place again. "Do enjoy yourself. Merry Christmas, and happy anniversary."

"For you too."

"I love you, Sora."

How long since she last heard those words? Months? Years, even? Yamato made sure to express himself with actions. Words weren't necessary. But even then, words still had the power to shake her spirit from head to toe. She knew that just then, with miles between them, that's all she needed to hear.

"I love you too, Yamato. See you soon."

She didn't give him the chance to answer before hanging up. She couldn't have borne a longer goodbye than that.

 _I guess I have to enjoy this party now._

She sighed, and then she smiled ruefully.

 _Am I complaining about this? Am I actually upset about having fun?_

She caught herself laughing now, the sound breaking the quiet night as the absurdity of the situation dawned on her. She'd accused Yamato of being complicated, as if she were simple. She'd laughed at his moods, as if she weren't prone to them. She'd complained about growing up, as if it weren't a matter of learning to enjoy life for what it was. She'd been resentful of love, when she was loved in return.

Because yes, distance was a void that couldn't be filled. But at the same time, it didn't make Sora feel any less loved. And that was enough.


End file.
